Leslie Marmon Silko

"[In] Ceremony I worked with some of the old stories, for example the Ck'o'yo gambler, Pa'caya'nyi, he was a magician and in the old story he came and he tricked the people into neglecting their care of the corn fields, of their devotion to the corn mother. This magician told them they didn't have to work hard, by magic he could do things. Listen to him, come to him. So, in the story, the people leave their corn fields and neglect the corn mother's altar and they are amazed by this magician. But that is all that it was, all magic. And while the people were enamored by this magician, the corn mother became angered and sad and then she left. And all the animals left and all the plants went away, a great drought came. The people found themselves in a terrible disaster, they had been lured away by this flashy, interesting, fast-talking conman.

So in Ceremony we have in this old story the idea that we human beings are not dependable creatures, we are easily lured from one way or another, we get out of balance and out of harmony with our natural surroundings and also we can get out of harmony with one another. And then it is quite difficult and painful but necessary to make a kind of ceremony to find our way back.

I began to realize that hasn't changed. Human beings can have lessons of things that happened in the past, in history, and say Look, this is what happens. But somehow people sometimes won't pay attention, won't listen and we have to suffer through and have to learn again, remember all over again why it is that we have to have a certain respect or care for hard work and for working with one another. There is no magic that is going to hand things over."

4:21pm: Landon Pigg, "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop"

4:25pm: The Temptations, "I Wish it Would Rain"

10:10pm: Marky Mark, "Good Vibrations" (same person as before)

10:49pm: Toby Keith, "How Do You Like me Now?!"

4:23pm: Jane's Addiction, "Jane Says"

4:35pm: Michael Jackson, "Thriller" (2ndx)

5:40pm: "Hi, this is C--------. I can't get to my cell phone, so if you leave me a name, number, and a cute little message, I'll try to get back to you. Bye."

4:42pm: Spanish-language fancy dance song, a tango song maybe?

5:03pm: Mary Mary, "God in Me" (3rdx)

5:25pm: Led Zeppelin, that one really epic song

5:50pm: Miley Cyrus, "The Climb" (2ndx)

6:08pm: Akon, "Beautiful"

11:26pm: Mary Mary, "God in Me" (4thx)

11:35pm: "Hey, this is K-------. You've reached my cell phone. Your call is important to me, so for God's sake, leave a message. If you're calling from a blocked or private number, I do not answer those. so unblock it and try again."

11:39pm: Shania Twain, "From This Moment On" (same person as last time)

11:42pm: J. Holiday, "Run into My Arms" (same person as last time)

11:50: Mary J. Blige, "Just Fine"

7:50pm: U2, "With or Without You"

8:17pm: Kanye West, "Love Lockdown"

9:41pm: Sugarland, "Stay"

10:21pm: Alicia Keys, "Doesn't Mean Anything" (3rdx)

10:27pm: Will.I.Am., "It's a New Day" (2ndx)

10:39pm: KC & JoJo, "All My Life"

10:49pm: Darlene Zschech, "Shout to the Lord" (2ndx)

10:57pm: Disney's Cinderella, "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo"

11:06pm: J. Holiday, "Run into My Arms"

11:10pm: "I'm so glad you called. This is xxx-xxxx. If you would like to talk to L----, leave a message. God bless."
same person, diff number: "This is xxx-xxxx. May God bless you."

11:23pm: Shania Twain, "From This Moment On"

11/11

4:24pm: "It's not about how to survive in the storm, but merely how to dance in the rain. Leave a message.""

4:27pm: Keyshia Cole, "We Could Be"

4:30pm: George Strait, "I Saw God Today"

4:41pm: spanish language, female vocalist, cross between a dance song and ballad?

4:53pm: some remix of EasyTech track "I'm the Sexy Girl"

5:05pm: that Elvis remix song

5:38pm: cowboy whistling song with a drum beat

6:00pm: "Yes, just leave us a message. Thank you s'much."

7:23pm: Keri Hilson, "Knock You Down" (2ndx)

8:01pm: Two WHOLE minutes of a hip hop song recorded on the outbound voicemail message. Quote-"She said, 'I like the way yo chains swing,/I just wanna fuck, I don't have to be yo main thing." The chorus was something like SIX OH OH. "Errbody in the club" was also mentioned.

9:42pm: "Okayyyy, evvvvverybody knows the deal. M'phone's off 'cause I'm at work or a'sleepin'."

10:31pm: Barry White, "Practice What You Preach"

11:26pm: (hold music) Nickelback, "Far Away"

4:05pm: Michael Jackson, "Thriller"

4:36pm: Brooks & Dunn, "Cowgirls Don't Cry" --- male

4:45pm: Beyoncé, "Ego"

5:22pm: Will.I.Am., "It's a New Day"

5:55pm: Letoya, "Regret"

6:01pm: Black Eyed Peas, "I Gotta Feeling"

6:22pm: "Obviously since you got this darn answering machine, my phone's not on. Sorry. See yaaaaa."

9:48pm: Orgy, "Fiction (Dreams In Digital)"

10:13pm: Darlene Zschech, "Shout to the Lord"

10:32pm: Jessie James, "Wanted"

10:35pm: John Legend, "Everybody Knows"

5:02pm: Eric Hutchinson, "Ok, It's Alright With Me"

5:51pm: Keith Sweat, "Nobody"

7:01pm: Jay Sean, "Down"

8:01pm: Lady Gaga, "Papparazi" rang to an outbound vm of a child singing Cher's, "If I Could Turn Back Time"
--same person, diff number: mediocre rap with vocoder, male making several sexual advances to a female using various metaphors and curse words

9:37pm: Michael Jackson, "Susie Got Your Number"

10:57pm: Eric Hutchinson, "Ok, It's Alright With Me" (2ndx)

11:04pm: updated version of Super Mario Bros. theme song (i.e. not the original)

5:15pm: "African Recovery Institute and Power of the African People. Please leave your name and number. Blocked and restricted calls--try again. We don't do those. African Power."

5:57pm: Plies, "Kept It Too Real"

7:33pm: Shinedown, "Second Chance"

7:47pm: George Strait, "Amarillo by Morning"

7:48pm: "Hey guys, it's Heather. You know what to do."

7:57pm: Shakira, "She-Wolf" in spanish

9:01pm: "Sorry if you reached this message. I was probably at work or playing with my boys or just bein' lazy. Leave a number and I'll call you back!"

9:26pm: Simpsons Theme Song

9:31pm: "You got Ryan. Leave it at the beep. Have a good day."

4:58pm: "This is Smiley G aka Life THE MEAN CHILD DMC Y'already know it's me. So go ahead and leave a message because one of my little brothers has my phone. If you don't like it then you can move around 'cause it's all of us against all of us or all of yall against none of us. believe that. damn yall gotta leave a message don't you. if you talk to my little brother, he prolly cuss you out. "

5:30pm: muffled spanish language dance song

7:37pm: Alicia Keys, "Superwoman"

8:38pm: Erykah Badu, "My People"

9:14pm: Mariah Carey, "Obsessed"

9:26pm: Birdman, "Always Strapped"

10:07pm: Carrie Underwood, "Jesus Take the Wheel"

6:12pm: Miley Cyrus, "The Climb"

6:15: "H-hello. Uh. This is. You've reached-uh. Club two. Regarding David R------ in the club right now. We'll get back to you as soon as we get into the club. Have a good night. Thank you."

7:04pm: Sublime, acoustic "Boss DJ"

8:40pm: Mary Mary, "God in Me"

9:04pm: ringback-muffled r&b slow jam, something about dreams and closing your eyes

11:25pm: Keri Hilson, "Knock You Down"

a still more glorious dawn awaits

What I Want the Most Right Now

1. a bicycle
2. a digital SLR
3. a plane ticket to SF

"What About Dying?..." by David Ignatow

Lev Nikolaevich

FREEDOM IS THE CONTENT. INEVITABILITY IS THE FORM.

shhhhhhhh

- you and i made a pact
- only the good die young
- and when i dream, i keep my promises to you
- i really do
- you know my hate's everlasting
- and what a cruel god we've got
- follow me there

"And there the children of dark Night have their dwellings, Sleep and Death, awful gods. The glowing Sun never looks upon them with his beams, neither as he goes up into heaven, nor as he comes down from heaven. And the former of them roams peacefully over the earth and the sea's broad back and is kindly to men; but the other has a heart of iron, and his spirit within him is pitiless as bronze: whomsoever of men he has once seized he holds fast: and he is hateful even to the deathless gods."

ys plz

"Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How clear and vivid and cruel! One could not escape from them. And yet what subtle magic there was in them! They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere words! Was there anything so real as words!"

- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

something gross happened pt. 2

Today, after helping Liliana load her newly-sanded-and-painted dresser into her Subaru, I went back into my apartment and into the bathroom. While I was in there, I felt something creeping and crawling on my exposed upper back and, assuming it was an ant, reached around to brush it off.

IT WAS A GIGANTIC BLACK SQUIRMY BEETLE. My instant reaction was to grab it and throw it against the wall. Its guts splattered everywhere.

SICK.

Maybe I do have super powers.

WR & PC

"Natasha was more calm, but not more cheerful. She not only avoided all external conditions of joyfulness--balls, promenades, concerts, the theater--but she never once laughed so that tears were not heard behind her laughter. ...And there were in her none of those former interests of life from the girlish, carefree, hope-filled life she used to lead. ...What would she not have given to bring back just one day of that time! But now it was over forever. Her presentiment had not deceived her then, that that state of freedom and openness to all joys would never return again. Yet one had to live."

"It comforted her to think that she was not better, as she had thought before, but worse, much worse, than everyone, everyone in the world. But that was not all. She knew it, and asked herself: "And what then?" And then there was nothing. There was no joy in life, and life was going by. Natasha clearly tried only not to be a burden to anyone or to bother anyone, but for herself she wanted nothing."