I LIKE BIG BOOKS
AND I CANNOT LIE
YOU OTHER READERS
CAN'T DENY
THAT WHEN A BOOK WALKS IN
WITH THAT LITTLE BITTY PRINT
AND A THICK SPINE IN YOUR FACE
YOU GET SPRUNG
CAN'T READ ENOUGH
'CAUSE YOU NOTICED THAT BOOK WAS STUFFED
DEEP IN THE JACKET IT'S WEARING
I'M HOOKED AND I CAN'T STOP STARING
OH BABY I WANNA SIT WITH YA
AND KNOW YOUR AUTHOR (autha'?)
MY HOMEBOYS TRIED TO WARN ME
BUT THAT PLOT YOU GOT
MAKE ME SO HORNY
OOH, BOY, THE RUSSIANS
DOSTOEVSKY, GOGOL, TOLSTOY
WELL TEACH ME, TEACH ME, ABOUT YOUR MORAL STORY
AIN'T GOT NO PREQUELS
TO HELL WITH FREAKING SEQUELS
IT'S LONG, STRONG, AND THE STORY'S BARELY STARTED
I'M TIRED OF MAGAZINES
SAYING LIGHT READING IS THE THING
TAKE THE AVERAGE LIBRARIAN AND ASK HER THAT
YOU GOTTA PACK A HARDBACK
SO PATRONS (YEAH), PATRONS (YEAH)
HAS YOUR LIBRARY GOT THE STACKS? (YEAH)
TELL 'EM TO SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE THAT HOLD REQUEST
BABY GOT BOOKS
